When Wounded Women Speak Up

A recent Facebook thread generated a rather robust discussion about women's roles and equality in the context of Christianity. One commenter, a pastor, contributed to the discussion the typical storyline that women who reject the headship doctrine are likely wounded because of men who lead poorly.
Have a listen:

I understand the pain and hurt that many women have had in their homes and churches over "headship" theology but that doesn't mean we can throw out the fact that Godly men are to lead. Yes, women can have the gifts of pastoring, teaching...etc.. but eldership is ultimately responsible for the direction of a home and church. This pisses many women off because MANY men are very, very unsatisfactory in their spiritual leadership. I am sorry for our failures to be trustworthy.... doesn't mean we can change God's plan because it feels better to have control.

This pastor effectively demonstrates one reason why so many women remain "in the closet" about their misgivings with male hierarchy. A woman who dissents to the No Women Allowed sign on the door risks being interpreted as a woman operating from a maimed point of view.

I Have a Page - an Amazon Author Page {Wowzers}

Click HERE to go straight to my bonafide, 100% purebred author page.
I feel so...authorish!

Digital Friends : Real or Imaginary?

Author and blogger Jennifer Luitwieler wrote this recently in an article for She Loves magazine:

Some people think online connections are somehow as flat as the screen, as dimensionless as the pixels of a font. They think that without the luxury of being in the same room, something must be missing. I disagree. I feel a significant and strong connection to my virtual sisters. They encouraged me through the writing, through the races and through parenting decisions. This wired community is no less real, no less potent than the friendships in which hands can reach across the table for a hand hug.
Community can be anywhere and can take on more shapes and varieties than our limited imaginations can conjure up. Community is not just a group of people together, but with a united purpose, and at our best, it accomplishes the work of grace.

I love this, her reference to virtual sisters and that community can take on more shapes and varieties than our limited imaginations can conjure up.  Her article made me pause to think about the digital friends I've made over the years and the question of whether or not they are real or imaginary friends?

I think first of all about Donna Van Horn, a woman I met somehow in the blogosphere back when blogging was a new media. She is the first online connection I met in real life. We were both nervous, it was like a blind date. We met in broad daylight in a crowded coffee shop lest the other be a raving lunatic. That meeting went well. Donna and I both ended up joining The Bridge where our friendship grew and bled into real life.

And then of course there's Erin Word, another local woman who was also a blogger.  Emboldened by how well the meet-up went with Donna, I was agreeable when Erin suggested we meet for coffee. She has since become a trusted confidant and is a featured voice in my book, Unladylike.

Besides digital connections that became real life friendships, there are many, many women and men who I maintain a warm connection with via the digital spaces. Like Kim from My Inner Chick, a blogger who writes with such poetic fury about the murder of her sister  that it makes my heart ache.

Besides other bloggers, I've enjoyed great connections with readers like Kristen G. who has become a penpal and Tracy S. who not only encouraged me in my writings, but once sent me book money to keep my reading stack growing. And there's those online whose real names I don't even know, but there online monikers are who they are to me, like Mad Woman, Swile 67, Minnow Speaks and Co Heir among others.

Then there are the international connections that the digital ocean has provided me with. People like blogger and writer Jo Hilder in Australia who I met through writing for the Burnside Writers Collective, which then reminds me of BWC social justice editors, Penny Carothers and Kim Gottschild, two women I've had plenty of correspondence with though I wouldn't recognize them if I met them on the street. A limitation of digital connections, yet an acceptable one.

Milestones have been celebrated with my digital friends such as the accomplishments in school and big moves to new cities or jobs. Tragedies have been shared such as when I lost one of my best friends and her toddler daughter in a car accident in 2007. My digital community reached out to me across the cyber miles and cried with me. I remember the passing of blogger Gary Means, a kind soul whom Erin and I always intended to with since he lived only a few hours up the highway. Sadly, we procrastinated too long for Gary died an untimely death before we met. We mourned with his family and reached out with our words and memories. Gary is still remembered in my blog circles.

It is because of the widespread net of connections that makes the internet so compelling. The words, thoughts and interactions of so many cyber friends makes my time on the net meaningful. Web browsing is not a meaningful experience, but connecting through blogging, social media and email to other human beings is very real and very valuable.

What about you? Do you have meaningful digital friendships?

Reviews are coming In

I love to write book reviews. This is because I like to give my opinion. I've written plenty of Amazon book reviews as well many blog posts reviews (which reminds me, I have some book reviews to catch up on. Look for them soon!)

So it is interesting to find myself in the other seat these days, the place of having my writing reviewed. This reviewer has become the reviewed.

I promised myself not to give too much credence to reviews. One person's POV can be vastly different than another. And though I know this, I still check Amazon at least three times a day to see if anyone has posted a new review. 

So far there are nine. All of them are 4-5 star reviews with the exception of one (more on that later). What's really interesting is that most of the reviews are from men. I love this. Love it. My pictured reader as I wrote Unladylike was a non-descript white woman. Basically a woman like me.

Here's some highlights of some of the Amazon reviews:

My Book Cover Has Boobs

When my publisher and I together decided on this image for Unladylike, I noted that the female statue's boobs were visible. I wasn't sure I wanted that to be framed on the cover of my book so  I asked the publisher to crop it down. Nope, he said, it looks good the way it is.

Now I think he's right.

For a book urging women to be unladylike, this cover and her boobs kinda says it all : Strip yourself of the niceties that hold you back from being and saying who you really are.

In the sixties women's lib movement, burning bras became a symbol of rising up through the constraints of a patriarchal society. My Unladylike covergirl has no bra. She's topless (and armless!).

Now I just need to find out who she is. Anybody recognize her??

Dragon Girl with the Eleven Tattoo

I am a woman who likes to find omens. I search for signs and clues that there is an Unseen Force greater than me at work in my life. When Unladylike was being scheduled for release, I relished the idea of the original release date of 11/11/11.  How prophetic is this date! A once in a lifetime, in a millennium for the 11's to be dated in triplicate. 

I have an interesting history with eleven that began with a dream. Several years ago I dreamt that I was getting a number eleven tattooed on my right hand, the hand I write with. But instead of getting an eleven, I changed my mind at the last minute and got a tattoo of a rose on my hand instead. Ever since then, the number eleven and I have bonded. It pops up in my life in the most random places. I look at the clock frequently right when it's 11:11. My father, when he died, was transported in a hearse by Palm Mortuary that had the licence plate, Palm 11.  I finally had a tattoo artist ink me with a little eleven on my arm. This number has become like a friend that keeps showing up in the most unexpected places.

 My friend Mimi is going to host a book release party for me at her relative's coffee house. It's called Cafe 11.

And today, the release date of my book, I met up with Elizabeth and the number we were given for our order was...you guessed it, Eleven. 

Unladylike: Resisting the Injustice of Inequality in the Church Video Promo

Unladylike officially launches on Monday, January 23!!

Here's a book trailer my friend Craig Spinks of Recycle Your Faith produced for it. Craig was able to include the voices of some of the women who attend my Women's Listening Parties which adds so much more depth to the promo. He absolutely captures my voice and the message of Unladylike.

Feel free to share this book trailer on your blogs, Facebook page, by email or any other social media. Help me spread the word!