- Disillusioned, lives and churches that don't match our beliefs. We believe what exactly?
- What does it mean to truly love God and to be loved by God? To love one another?
- What and where is the kingdom of God? Surely it's not found in rigid dogma or sanitized morality or celebrity or happy endings?
- Where is Jesus to be found? I tried the formulas, the rules, to be a good Christian. (my friend Erin says it's a myth to be a good Christian. I think she's on to something...not on something, but onto something!)
- I'm such a clumsy woman of God, a clod at relationships, a walking contradiction of values, beliefs and passions. But I think I'm in good company, and I love the company I keep. Sort of like a refugee-camp community of wandering, homeless mystics.
- I am no good at being demure and sweet.
- I hate the word submission. Not like I hate onions, but hate like how I hate injustice.
- Does God anoint ugly people who have messed-up teeth? Did Jesus have nice teeth?
- Is the church like this woman I once knew who was so easily offended? You had to tread lightly around her or you'd set her off and get a scolding. I can be like that myself. At particular times of the month. Is the church like this? Like a woman at particular times of the month? Is she touchy?
- My friend Kim said to me once that the church offers a cultural-like transition, showing people that they need to dress a certain way and talk a certain way. But where's the gospel? she asked.
- What am I passionate about? What will I stay up all night talking about? What captures my imagination?
- Heard in a dream:
Where I'm taking the church there is no map.
ok, so these were gleaned from a journal from a couple of years ago. Do any of these thoughts resonate with you? Which ones? If you could pick one of these thoughts for me to blog about, which one would it be?
- The metaphor of religion versus freedom in relationship is like the difference between swimming in a chlorinated swimming pool, or a wild Oregon river...
- Cussing: it's not my best, but sometimes it's all I got.
- Not disillusioned with Jesus, whose beauty at times overwhelms me. Disillusioned with the irrelevance and powerlessness of my life and even of the many lives around me. Disillusioned, disenchanted with my religion, but not with Jesus. There is a difference.
ok, so these were gleaned from a journal from a couple of years ago. Do any of these thoughts resonate with you? Which ones? If you could pick one of these thoughts for me to blog about, which one would it be?
15 comments:
Blog them all, sister!
Personally I'm into the teeth thing...and what you will stay up all night talking about...
I agree with Erin - do a post on each one. My favorites would be: "Disillusioned, But Not With Jesus" and "I'm a Clumsy Woman of God; A Clod at Relationships"!!
Do them all.
I really like the statement you put in....Where I'm taking the church there is no map.
I agree with Erin: Blog them all!
But if I had to pick one, it would definitely be this one: "I'm such a clumsy woman of God, a clod at relationships, a walking contradiction of values, beliefs and passions. But I think I'm in good company, and I love the company I keep. Sort of like a refugee-camp community of wandering, homeless mystics."
The "walking contradiction of values, beliefs, and passions" part especially describes me, so would love to see you write on that one.
* "I hate the word submission. Not like I hate onions, but hate like how I hate injustice."
Onions were always onions. Either you like 'em or you don't. But words change ...
I am a closet (novice) anthropoligist at heart. Origins and history of words facinate me. Cultural influences can completely change the timbre and meaning of words in one generation. When I was growing up, it was a wonderful thing to be 'gay' (even in the evangelical church). Now it has a completely different meaning.
'Submission' seems to also be one of those words. What did it mean, say in N.T. times (when it was used as a positive term)? How much of our culture today agrees with you and sees it as a pejorative term? What cultural influences in our time has turned it into a pejorative term? What term might we now use to replace it in it's original meaning?
I'm such a clumsy woman of God, a clod at relationships, a walking contradiction of values, beliefs and passions. But I think I'm in good company, and I love the company I keep. Sort of like a refugee-camp community of wandering, homeless mystics.
I am no good at being demure and sweet.
I hate the word submission. Not like I hate onions, but hate like how I hate injustice.
Cussing's not my best, but sometimes it's all I got.
These things are authentic. They are messy and honest and right where I am right now. Write away Pam.
They all look intriguing to me. I guess the ones that resonate the most are #2, #3, #4, #5, #7, #8, #9 #10, #11.
wowzers. thanks everyone for your responses. jerry's sister emailed me and she like's the clumsy god one. but yeah, i think each one could definitely be a topic for blogging. it's always cool to stumble onto an old journal and flip through it. they're like photo albums, only time is captured with words rather than images.
i'm glad these are resonating with people. this is why i blog and write!!!!!!!!!!!!
and hey, everyone welcome DENIE, a very special friend who I am going to devote a blog post about soon. She is new to the blogosphere. I've known Denie since I was a teenager, my longest friendship of my life. There have been some astounding circumstances that recently brought our lives closer together. I will blog about it. For now, live in the suspense. :-)
Ken, I totally get what you are saying. For me, the words submission has gone through three stages in my life. It first became a part of my vocabulary as a new Christian. When I joined YWAM submission, as in submitting to leadership, was a popular concept that rolled around the YWAM community I was a part of. Not submission in a creepy, control-freak kind of way, but submission as in having an appropriate and healthy respect for the spiritual leadership of our YWAM community. So it was a positive word for me. I saw the wisdom in honoring and trusting spiritual leaders (who, in my case, were worthy of it.)
Then came marriage. I love being married. But over time, the teaching of wives, submit to your husbands, became irritating. I could not reconcile the teaching with the reality of my marriage. It did not seem wise nor practical to be outranked by my partner simply because he was male. Eventually, this word, submission, became annoying to me, a reminder of the patriarchal overbearingness of religion. For the record, my husband does not buy the submit thing either, thank God! We view our marriage as a partnership, of mutual submission to each other, or yielding to each other... I much prefer the term yielding when talking about the marriage relationship!
Most recently submission has taken on a new and very positive meaning for me: submission of my articles to magazines!!!!!!!! Now I LOVE the words submission as in, "Pam, thank you for your submission. We are going to publish it..." !
So yes, Ken, the meaning of words evolve. Even in the lifetime of my vocabulary!
Exactly. Great illustration. I am glad that submission has found a positive place in your life once more - particularly in the context which you give. I hope you see it often in this context.
Next ... "the messed up teeth" issue; Come on! Don't tell me you didn't see Mel's 'Passion' movie. Jesus had beautiful teeth!
My respectful 2 cents worth respectively :
Why ask when you KNOW that Jesus loves you? It's natural & it's healthy to meet with two or three friends regularly anyway, and if it's done in His name, he'll be there.
I can't earn it; I can't fully understand it; I can't scientifically prove it, but I'm told to love others as someone I love the most (i.e. someone I'd happily feed, buy clothes for; look for ways to help improve conditions for etc; ) um, that would be Me!
"The Kingdom God is within you." Believe it or not.
Where is Jesus to be found. On the right hand-side of God; everywhere; nowhere? He was after all a mystic. Some think he's a myth; others said
he existed in every legend of human civilization.
Who was it who said the Contradictions are the only absolute.
Some like it hot; most of my male buddies look for feisty women, while I like my woman sweet and demure...haha...
Onion rings are great; wouldn't it be nice if those gorgeous big cats like tigers leopards, panthers, lions are totally submissive? Then I guess they wouldn't be what they are, huh?
Botox, nose jobs, boob jobs, gym membership, Spas, diet cokes et al are some pretty lucrative Capitalists' inventions. Somehow I think god is a Communist cause so far everyone of them deified commies have screwed up playing god.
Of course the Church is touchy - it has 2,000 years of tradition and standards to maintain.
The gospel is among the poor, the working class rock and rollers with bills to pay who's got no use for middle-class pretensions and upper class wannabe somebody delusions.
I am passionate about finding the passions of my youth, and I will stay up all night to talk about movies, music, philosophies, politics, old times, whatever if I didn't have to work the next day.
Who needs a map when the tour guide is omnipotent?
The metaphor for religion is lack-of-imagination when freedom is full of it.
Groans, moans, screams & swearing speak volumes; gets the message across, often crystalizing the muddling affects of syntax.
Jesus is the ultimate illusion; the panacea that repels religious, political, economics and faux morale induced delusions.
Would you mind terribly if I used some of your topics in my own blog, with proper credit back to you, of course? A lot of your suggestions speak to me.
Hey NK, have at it! Let me know so I can be sure to pop over and see what writing is generated from these prompts.
CK, ok, here's the deal: CK is a friend of mine who lives in China. The filters of that nation prevent CK from being able to directly access my blog. I have another friend, also in China, who has the same problem. The way we get around is that they subscribe to my blog. They can receive my posts by mail, but they can't view it online. So they don't comment or even see the comments unless I email it to them. Sometimes CK emails me his thoughts about something I've blogged about. This is one such instance. I decided to post it for him since he took so much trouble to respond to each journal scrap of writing.
I met CK years and years ago in YWAM Hong Kong. He has since become greatly disillusioned with faith and religion and holds organized religion with lots of suspicion. He can be a bit snarky with his analytical self, but he is usually quite respectful of other people's point of views. And he will concede when necessary. so, here's the deal, if you have a response to anything he's said here by all means post a response. I'll be sure to copy and paste it in an email for him.
Wow. Just one? I relate to nearly all of them. ;-)
So, maybe at the top of the list would be the last one...
"Not disillusioned with Jesus, whose beauty at times overwhelms me. Disillusioned with the irrelevance and powerlessness of my life and even of the many lives around me. Disillusioned, disenchanted with my religion, but not with Jesus. There is a difference."
Yeah.
Oh, Pam. I love your heart. But I must disagree with the idea of you being a clod in relationships. You gracefully drew me into your colorful orbit the first hour I spent with you in Portland. I miss you!
I typed up my first blog inspired by your topics here. Click the link to read it if you'd like. I hope I did it justice.
Post a Comment