Have you ever wondered what it would be like to walk in the skin of the opposite gender of what you were born? Have you daydreamed about what kind of man or woman you could have become had you had that one little chromosomal shift while being knit together in your mother's womb?
I have.
I have wondered at times what path my life might have taken had I been born a Patrick instead of a Pamela. If I were a man, I have quietly asked myself, would I have an advantage in life?
In some cultures this undoubtedly would be a resounding yes, and as unfair as it might sound, in evangelical culture it is most definitely a yes. A great, big loud praise the Lord yes.
Men in evangelical circles, particularly male leaders, are given the great and noble task of leading the church, their communities, and their homes. They are called to be pastors and teachers and elders and heads of households. Men are given the best places of honor and prestige; they earn the highest accolades of respect and receive the grandest seats at the banquet table. Evangelical men are kingly in their assessment of one another, of those who are admired for their biblical prowess and church leadership abilities. It is a man's world in the halls of Christendom.
Male preachers get the best television shows, while their women quietly sit, demure, hands folded upon their petite laps while their leaderly men preach and teach and roar and howl. My sister, the agnostic, observed and said to me, "There are no women pastors with their own tv shows." A woman who has the good fortune to preach and teach might rise to some level of respect within her own small sphere of influence, but in the general population of evangelicalism, women will not be permitted to exercise spiritual authority, such as teaching, over men. They rule the courts, and they rule it because God made it so. They know. Just ask them.
I am not anti-man. I love men. I admire the way men think and create and build and protect. The bent in men for war and territorial conflict (in all kinds of arenas of life) is the stuff of page-turning novels and action-packed films. Without men in the world, or the church, things would certainly be much less interesting. Men bring a kind of energy, a vitality, that is thrilling. My life would be much more dull if it were not for the men, young and old, who rev it up with their testosterone presence. Men totally rock.
And yet men, without women, are not nearly as capable as they can be when they are shoulder to shoulder with the other gender of humankind. Not in a subserviant way, like woman as helper to man as leader. This is a very popular concept in Christianity and is openly taught and embraced as a God given model. I do not dispute that many couples are happy with this philosophy. To each their own. But it is the notion that this is the true order of creation, men lead and women serve and follow, that this is the God ordained order of human life, that I do not subscribe to. I think it is an insidious idea that needs to be confronted and taken hostage.
Men and women are at their most powerful when they are side by side in the trenches of life and the frontlines of faith. Men suffer when they keep their women from leading along side them. And women suffer when they insist on not answering that smoldering fire of leadership inside of them because they are conditioned to believe it is a strange fire, a fire that is not of God and so it must be ignored, quenched. Extinguished. There is a spirit of resignation upon many tribes of women within Christendom who have accepted that they must quietly follow their men and endure their role in life as the silent partner.
It is to their shame, and also to the shame of their men. Without one another, we are each weaker and less than what we can be together.
There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise. (Galatians 3:28-29 NIV)
In Christ's family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. Also, since you are Christ's family, then you are Abraham's famous "descendant," heirs according to the covenant promises. (The Message)
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Welcome home Pam!! Way to stir the pot...I love you!!!
Happy Mother's Day!
this post has really messed with my head
because
for the first time
....iknow
that i'm pleased
that i'm a woman
splurge. there you have it. think that subconsiously i'd carried a fair amount of 'what if...' about with me...for far too long
thanks for shovelling it
Hey Donna, good to be home and back in the kitchen cooking up a storm. Ya know how much I love to stir up the pot. Makes life way more interesting when the stuff in the bottom of the soup kettle gets whipped up out of hiding and floats up to the surface. And that's also how you make a damn good soup...stir up the spices so the soup will have full flavor. Welcome to my school of cooking. :-)
Hey Erin! Belated Happy Mom's Day to you too! It's been too long since we hung out. I have time next week if you do. Let's make it happen!
MMP, for some reason all this time I thought you were a man!
this post has really messed with my head
because
for the first time
....iknow
that i'm pleased
that i'm a womanSo...really? Wow. That blows my mind and heart away. How old are you, if I may ask? I'd love to know a bit more of your story and if you have wrestled with gender inequality in your life or faith. Feel free to post as much (or little) as you are willing to do here.
Thanks for being a reader of this blog. One day I will make it to the UK and we must meet.
That's so funny!
I'm fifty, a mum to five (almost all grown up )children, was married for twenty years, single parent for a few years and am now very happily remarried!
When I was young I always wanted an older brother, failing that i'd have settled for a twin.Managed with younger brother and sisters.
Raised in the countryside, I lived in dens and up trees till I was about 16yrs old. Always loathed the idea of dressing up, doing hair and being ( to my way of thinking anyway...) 'silly'.
Being a woman is who I am, but i don't like some of the nonsense that appears to go with it.
100% straight...just persistantly hacked off re attitudes Towards women... and attitude Of women.
Your post made me think and resolved a lot. thanks!
oh and for making me laugh so much that i almost choked!
All I can say is please forgive us (men) for our ignorance and hubris. Somehow we got the idea that we could run this thing called "The Church" without partnership with women. So, we've been leading people away from Christ for 2000 years. (Did I just say that?)
Starting Monday, June 8 it's women's week on my new blog. http://kenloyd.net/
love you, Pam
Pam... I love this...you are brilliant!
I cherish being a woman but I do wish there was a magic bubble where we could just be people and not have to think about being different from each other because of biology. Gender issues seem like such an archaic dichotomy.
Pam, how do I make a link from my blog to this post. Ignorance of all things internet is my game (so far)