When a popular "purpose driven" movement swept through my faith community helping people to identify God’s special plan for their lives, I instantly became obsessed. I bought into the expectation that God would deliver a concise plan for my life overnight. I waited and watched, bewildered, as others seemed to effortlessly fall into their divine callings as mine stalled. Clamoring for clarity, I willingly submitted myself to‘constructive’ criticism, character evaluations, accountability partners and endless workshops preparing for ministry and purpose, to no avail. This was a precarious season of great expectation. I became increasingly convinced there was an invisible ‘ladder of purpose’ which existed to usher privileged spiritual superstars to significance and meaning. I wanted to climb that ladder and believed once on it, I would also arrive at my coveted destination of divine purpose where everything in my life would finally make sense. (joy schroeder, communitas collective)Wow, I totally get that. I have waited years. Years. For my life to make sense, for my faith to discover her identity and what amazing purpose my life is meant to fulfill. God only hands out cool assignments, ya know.
I met a woman one time who spent a great deal of conversation telling us all about her ministry. Ugh, there's that M word. Min-a-stree.
In the sub-culture of evangelicalism there is a kind of holy grail in discovering what one's ministry is. This is akin to finding one's destiny or cracking your personal code on what your life's purpose is meant to be. And for sure, there are some, the lucky ones, who have a clear path laid out before them of what they can do or become to help make the world a better place.
Then there is the rest of us.
I would love to find my purpose in my life. If anybody finds it let me know. I've searched all over for it. Books, sermons...oh my god, sermon upon life-changing sermon upon sermon...conferences, prayer lines, late-night conversations, pleas upon pleas on the altar of Divine Guidance...
It took me a while and quite a few bruises to finally discover that the best life I am meant to live and the ever-elusive purpose I am meant to possess is actually right in front of me right now. I already have it.
There is a disabled man who lives in my neighborhood. He lives in an adult foster care home in my neighborhood. He cannot support himself due to being horribly crippled by a car accident. He has no family and the few friends he had are unable to take him in. He lives a kind of transient life, people come, people go. But there he remains. Quietly steadfast in his wheelchair, rolling down the sidewalks to where ever the pavement can take him. I once pulled over to help him when his chair got stuck on the curb. I'm trying to imagine talking to him about his purpose in life. That doesn't seem like the thing to bring up.
What is a purposeful life? How can we know if we are living out a scripted role that only we can fill? Or maybe we are asking the wrong questions. That's what I think. I think we are asking questions that are ego-driven, not purpose driven.
Maybe fear is the undercurrent of the search for purpose. Fear of failing at life. Fear of being an irrelevant, anemic Christ follower.
Fear of failing as a human being.
AS IF!
It's a big, fat effed up lie that leads us down a dead-end road in the search for ghosts like purpose, higher calling, destiny, fortune...life is immensely purposeful simply because we exist. I do not fail at being a human being, no matter how broken or frail or corrupt I may find myself.
For sure there is a lot I am not addressing here, like those who possess talents and giftings and advantages in life and do not use them at all to serve their brothers and sisters. This is not what I am talking about. I am referring to the pressure to become more and shine brighter. To soar higher and live more fully. To own your best life now and be driven by purpose.
I don't know about you, but it's not working out for me!
So really, if you find my purpose laying around some where, give me a holler. I think I'll post it on Craigs List and sell it and give the money away. I haven't been using it anyway.
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Here's to purposelessness. I don't want any grandiose vision of what I am called to do for God's kingdom, for it will only lead to a swelled head, missteps, and eventually total failure. Been there, done that, learned my lesson the first time.
I prefer to sit in my living room and find purpose in the things that are in my line of sight. My kids, my kids' friends, the laundry that needs folding, the article that needs writing. Works for me.
This of course is not to literally say that I like to sit on my couch and call myself good, but I think you know what I mean. Purpose isn't "out there", something to be chased, it's "right here", something to be recognized.
Near as I can figure out, the only "purpose" the Bible mentions is becoming like Jesus.
"life is immensely purposeful simply because we exist"
yes! yes! yes!!! very powerful. the other day i was thinking about how much our culture ranks a person's value depending on how much they contribute to society (how they perform). how smart or funny or rich or sexy they are or are not. people who are poor or ugly or handicapped are not esteemed. yet we are all of us created in God's image no matter how flawed. this is the source of our value and worth. sweet Jesus, open our eyes and our hearts.
awww...Pam thanks for the quote...You know...I lost at least 10 years in the IC to this obsession. I probably missed more opportunites and minutia that would have brought so much learning and joy to my life by look above and beyond for my "Golden Ticket"...it was gonna be something like a Beth Moore-Joyce Meyer thing...you know...?
B*I*G. I could almost taste it at times...but I could never quite get there sorta like trying to reach one of those pesky mirages of water on a 115 degree Arizona desert highway. I am a littel pissed...but...I am awake now.
when lives get messed up and it takes all we have to crawl throu even one day...
like you ( as you thought about your neighbour..) talking about soaring and pressing on....well, it's a nonsense.
unless of course we are saying that Some people can soar and press on
whle
Others are just in a mess
and need to get Sorted Out.
....and I have problems with that kinda talk.
I'm too small to save the WORLD, so I do what I can in downtown Portland; mostly nothing special...
Thanks, Pam, for helping me feel not so bad about being little.
I love you
I think....maybe... the reason i visit here.......is that you are the kind of person who lives your life...fully, totally and with passion.
It's been really interesting watching ( via blogs) how other people connect with;
ourselves,
our friends &/ or our family
each other and
the world.
I've loved watching how we weave our faith and our deeply/lightly held beliefs
into
and through
our words and our picture.
Thank you for providing a place where I can be challenged and where I can pause and think awhile
Purpose is not something that's given to you, it's something you co-create; meaning is something one reads between the lines.
That's what I've learned out of the pain of longing to live on an epic scale. I would ask God "what do you want me to do?" and get answers like "Whatever you want to. I am always with you."
I finally realized that if I spent me whole life waiting for a sign, I'd never get married, have kids, travel, etc. And if I did, I'd feel like I was betraying my calling to "wait on God." So I went out and got a life.
I now have a husband and daughter that I love, and the stuff I'm dreaming about and hoping for is so much more interesting these days.
For me, finding my one true purpose was like shopping for the perfect outfit in a store that didn't carry my size: I finally just got sick of it and went naked!
thanks to each of you for commenting on this. sorry for my delayed reply! we went away for a week of camping.
i am glad i am not the only one who is discovery the liberation of purposeless living.
which is not to be equated with meaningless existence. god, no.
my life's value is not determined by a divine script. but by divine love.
thanks for celebrating that with me!
My purpose is to make one more person smile. To dry one more tear. To share one more laugh with a friend. To see a need and do what I can to help fill it, no matter how small the need or my ability to fill it.
It's a nice purpose. I like it.
-- Jarred.