Finding My Story

In the world we live in there are a thousand messages, microstories that pummel the mind day and night. Movies, sitcoms, youtube videos, blog posts, books, conversations, billboard advertisements, newscasts, magazine articles, Sunday sermons, music, education...on and on the list goes, a cacophony of  voices shaping  our thinking whether we like it or not.

I am taking a media class at Marylhurst this term. It has been a fascinating exploration of the theories surrounding media and society. Did you know that it is a mistaken notion that violence in the media is a cause of more violence in our communities? It has been shown that media violence does not cause more violence. What it does cause is the perception that we are under constant threat of violence. If the news reports primarily the violence happening in the city we live in and if the movies we watch and series we enjoy revolve around murder and mayhem, than it is not a far-fetched idea to understand that we perceive violence as an epidemic. (Obviously in some cultures and nations violence is a daily threat, but for the                                                                       average American it is not.)

Perception is reality, goes the saying. The messaging we allow to filter our experiences will rule the way we think and thus, the way we behave.

It gets even more interesting when we consider the source of the messaging. If a society or institution promotes an idea as a norm and if the general consensus of the masses is to accept it as the norm, than whether it's fair or just or even common sense, The Idea becomes normative and unchallenged.

For instance, let's take the institutional church's treatment of women. Those in the point positions of messaging in the church have primarily been men. They are the ones who primarily have the influence and power to affect the stories the faithful integrate into the heart and mind. If one is conditioned to accept without question the stories and values of a religion's tradition, then there develops a tendency known in the academic world as hegemony.   Wikipedia defines hegemony like this:

 the political, economic, ideological or cultural power exerted by a dominant group over other groups. It requires the consent of the majority to keep the dominant group in power.  (red my emphasis) 

Hegemony (pronounced he-jeh-moh-nee) is manifested in all kinds of ways, such as back in the day when there were White Only theaters and drinking fountains in some parts of the American South. Even though it was unjust the majority of society consented to it by obeying it.  Another example of hegemony is war. Though the majority of a nation may reject war on ethical and moral grounds, they consent to it by virtue of the powers that be declaring war.

In the same way women are subjected to hegemony by consenting to allow it to continue in the institution known as  The Church.  Women allow it - and so do their men - by consenting through resignation, silence, acquiescence, and agreement. The Church, by and large, says women may not have the same degree of influence as men since the Bible has been interpreted to message this for as far back as anyone can remember. It is normative. People of all kinds of creeds, socioeconomic status, education, etc... passively sit and listen to sermons about women needing to submit and let the men lead for  this  the divine order of things according to the bible.  Women who accept from those in power messaging us to remain submissive (for this is a high quality in a Christ honoring woman) unknowingly perpetuate the oppression of being less than.

A number of years ago a woman I know was deeply involved in the swirl of religious activity at her church. She had a reputation for her piety and enjoyed a certain amount of admiration from some of the most prominent members of her faith community. One day one of the pastoral staff paid her what she considered a high compliment. "All the pastors at this church regard you with high respect because of your submission."

The woman glowed with happiness as she was praised and affirmed. She wanted so much to be a good and proper Christian woman. This pastor -- kind-hearted as he may have been -- reinforced the hegemonic message that Women Are To Submit to Their Men Who Must Lead. What troubles me the most, though,  is not his misplaced words of praise, but rather her misplaced sense of accomplishment.  This is a textbook example of hegemony, of those in power ruling over the majority through consent.  The story continues to be the same story, generation after generation, because we allow it to be so. 

If a woman or a man begins to speak up in opposition to this story they are often portrayed as straying from biblical truth and by default, God's Divine Order of Things. Who can argue with God? This is the outrage, the absurdity, in my opinion, of the hegemonic system of inequity towards women what is meant to be the kingdom of God. Apparently the king of this kingdom demeans half the citizens to the back of the bus based on gender. Merit and talent, gifting and passion are not qualities that make any difference. It's a little chromosome that determines your status in his kingdom.

A teenage girl once sobbed in shame as she revealed that she felt a stirring to pursue pastoral training after high school. Her whole life she had heard the story, the messaging, that women submit and men lead. She heard it in the way the people of her church treated one another, for every female Sunday school teacher she had and every male elder and pastor listed in the church bulletin. She saw it in her home, in the way her mom deferred to her father for significant decision making. So when the desire to be a pastor emerged from her young, tender heart it spun her out. It did not match the story she knew.

"What's wrong with me?" she cried as she revealed this desire as if confessing a sexual misstep. "Girls can't be pastors!" We talked long and hard about other points of view concerning women and the pulpit. She had not allowed herself to even think about such possibility since this would defy biblical teaching about God's divine order.  She was locked up, heart and soul, in a hegemonic worldview that threatened to hold hostage her mind, self-image and future vocation. It would take an inner revolution for her to decide to break rank with tradition and announce her intention to go to seminary.

Eventually, however, she succumbed to the pressure of keeping the status quo. She buried deep her perverted desire to be a pastor, and in doing so, buried a part of herself. The teenage girl grew to be a woman who was resigned to her fate to serve someone else's dream.

I tried to help her change her story. I really did. But in the end, she is the one who has to decide which way to turn the page. It still weighs heavy on my heart that she stopped turning the pages at all.

It may not seem very consequential, this idea of women and power and influence in religious societies, especially in the West. Are not women enjoying a greater degree of privilege and voice than ever before?

Yes and no. It is true that there is much that has been discarded in many faith denominations in regard to women. I maintain, though, that it has been precursory. In other words, that it's a beginning but certainly not the end. It's not enough when women still look to men to give us influence or our say on the platform. Women have relegated their permission to speak and be heard to men. We wait for men to hand us the mic or invite us to the pulpit. We accept the inequity of how a woman is assigned subservience in the name of her god.

Women like me have chosen to close the book just like the young teenage girl. I am part of the problem. It is Me. I rant and rave about the injustice of it all. I complain with my women friends around kitchen tables about the unfairness of the good ole' boys club with their No Girls Allowed sign hanging on the tree house door. We  have been barking up the wrong tree.

It's long overdue to burn the f*cker down.